#CoronaConundrums: Account of the days as they go by – Senjuti Maitra

13 May #CoronaConundrums: Account of the days as they go by – Senjuti Maitra

#CoronaConundrums

The Chinese government alerted the World Health Organisation (WHO) about emerging cases of an unknown virus resembling pneumonia on December 31^st, 2019. In just over three months, Coronavirus or COVID-19 spread across the world map with WHO officially declaring the outbreak a pandemic on March 11, 2020.

On December 31^st, the world was busy celebrating the arrival of a new year and the turnover to a new decade. Some were busy setting new year’s resolutions, nestled in their homes and the warmth of their loved ones. Others simply relieved at the closure of yet another decade. Most of us unaware of the emerging reports of the coronavirus outbreak as we were blissfully swept away in the New Year’s rituals of introspection, refinement, setting intentions, and catching our breathe for a moment of respite. Like every year, January saw many people returning to workplaces with renewed spirits and an eagerness to learn, grow, and make progress. Unbeknown to us all, the world as we knew it and the human collective, was about to come to a standstill. Our lives were about to be turned upside down by a 0.125micron virus.

Today as I am writing, most of our daily routines involve absorbing large quantities of rapidly evolving new information in the form of statistics, news reports, analytical reports, broadcast media and social media. Managing and overcoming the fear of the unknown is an integral part of the universal human experience. However, the magnitude of the grief, anxiety and sense of tragedy the world is grappling with in the current moment is unparalleled and unprecedented.

Families, and lovers separated from one another with no surety of a reunion anytime soon.  Millions without roofs over their heads. Loneliness haunting the many stuck in isolation due to state declared lockdowns. Hundreds of thousands of people losing loved ones to illnesses without being able to say goodbye. Millions around the globe left penniless and unable to feed their families. Constant projections of deeply unnerving statistics and figures. Increasing death toll and case counts. Daily projections of accumulating losses, growing unemployment and the looming recession. Percentages, numbers, dollar signs evoking paralysing fear. Symbols that seem to be significant yet somehow fail to make sense.

Amidst this chaos, high levels of emotional reactivity, and no end in sight, it is easy to lose ourselves down the rabbit hole and give in to the impending sense of doom. Perhaps many of us have already fallen and crawled our way back to being on our feet again. Wherever you are in this process- it is alright. Whether you see this as an opportunity or simply a tragedy- it is alright. In fact, putting this down in writing is as a much a reminder to myself as it is to anyone else. Each phase of this challenge brings with it an altered and unique perspective on the world we inhabit, the life we were living prior to the COVID19 outbreak, and what we envision it to be— each one taking us a step closer to our deeper purpose, desire, and reasons for being.

The term ‘resilience’ is more potent now than ever. Especially our resilience as a collective. The resilience we are cultivating and tapping into now is not only going to get us through these next few months but serve us for the remainder of our lifetime. Each one of us knowingly or unknowingly have the extraordinary ability to persevere. Now is the time to dig deeper, foster, and nurture these hidden gifts lying in an undiscovered corner within our being. Because the purpose of these gifts is to guide us through times of uncertainty and help us rise above and beyond what comes our way: ultimately enriching the stories of who we are and how we came to be.

In the past month, the self-critical voice in my voice has often left me feeling debilitated and the voice saying ‘not enough’ has been amplified. Speaking to my loved ones, I discovered I was not the only one. The most common theme emerging from these conversations was the guilt onset by the lack of either practice and/ or productivity. There is no doubt about the internal damage the vicious ‘not enough’ cycle can cause. But what if we replace ‘productivity’ with ‘progress’? My friend and mentor recently helped me shift my perspective by suggesting I focus on the process of whatever task is at hand, detaching myself from the consequence or the final output. It has been one of the simplest yet most effective changes I have been able to implement.

At the core of it, lies the age-old philosophy of mindfulness. Shifting focus to ‘being’ however and wherever I am has relieved me off many all-consuming bouts of anxiety and panic. All of them attached to the mystery of the ‘tomorrow’ I have created, and keep living and reliving in my head. Guided by the wisdom of those around me, I am learning slowly but surely to really live through the myriad of these novel experiences surfacing during the lockdown, in all its messiness, heartaches, stillness and glory.

For those of us locked in our homes, this is perhaps what it would feel like if we could truly pause time in its track. For those on the frontline of this battle, it could not be more different. Feeling somewhat more centred after 4 weeks in lockdown, I finally gathered the courage to read the interview of a nurse working in a public hospital in New York. It was an opportunity to gauge at the harrowing grassroot reality of healthcare, retail, security, public service and essential service workers. She spoke of the inhumanely long work hours, complete chaos, the pain of being seprataed from her family, lack of infrastructure and personal protective equipment, and of course the brutal emotional toll of it all- a new normal for her and millions of others across the globe.

Words are not enough to express the gravity of the hardship and daily struggle of this woman, amongst millions of others. Reading her story and opening my heart to make space for empathy helped me shift my perspective from self to others. My takeaway from the read can be summed up in one word: gratitude. Yes, there is no denying the extreme challenges brought on by the abrupt disruption to our lives. Being stuck within four walls for days on end is by no means an easy feat. But within these four walls, we are safe, equipped with basic amenities, and connected to our friends and families in one way or another. Cultivation of gratitude might just be what it takes to feel somewhat more grounded and take on each day as it comes.

Just like you reader, I do not know what lies ahead.  Here, the stories of constant struggle and triumph of our forefathers against unfathomable challenges, might be able to offer guidance and more importantly, hope: the crucial antidote to renewing our spirit. If anything, the current circumstances are a true testament to the marvel of the human ability to adapt and adjust. Before this, we have survived catastrophic events like World War I, World War II, the Great Depression, and 9/11 to name a few. Therefore, even though we do not have a definite timeline or any guarantee of when and how we can resume our lives as they were, we can have faith that this too shall pass. And of that, we can be sure.

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Written by: Senjuti Maitra

Video & Photos by: Deepak Goel

Music by: Bharat Jain